This video initially reflects my overall ideas, it is the basis of my installation.
The “Circle” through its projection is the resemblance of the bond within my family.
The circle is the loss of my independence, it is without edges, no guidelines, no way out, I am enclosed in this circle going round and round seeking out my independence.
The circle is also a memory from my childhood, I watched my father shaping a perfect wire circle to build his fishing tools, I was intrigued and admired his skills.
In the video my father is obviously old now and his hands are no longer capable, I wanted to represent the passing of this experience with a new meaning from my own perspective.
In fact “Independence” is for me the state in which I can only rely on myself unfortunately it is without any external guidance or influences.
I wanted express how my father is the beginning of this circle an external force pulling me back to a place I cannot reach because this place is unreachable and weighted with guilt.
In the video my hands are trying to engulf the space around and outside the circle, I am trying to break in, but am unsuccessful. I am the outsider, the circle is the independence, my fingers in the video form a triangle over the circle this is a metaphor in how I see my family, the points of the triangle are myself and my parents. My triangle cannot break or penetrate this circle but I myself am trying desperately to break the boundaries of this circle.
The distance between my family and myself in this video is reflected in the outline in how the wire is overlapping my hands, this indicates that I am attempting to achieve my personal independence, but it is invisible and unattainable.
The sudden black interruption of the video transition is purposely shown as it reflects my failure (the blackness, hopelessness) to reach my independence.
The final image of the brick relates to the solid reality and experience of the past through my family memories. Here I am pouring the sand onto the brick and effectively I have drawn a circle to affirm my independence and covering the entire surface of the brick which represents the illusion of my state of independence.
In fact the Italian expression “restare con un pugno di sabbia” translated in English is “leaving you holding a handful of sand” means “being left with nothing” in my case with no independence.